Young children are generally more resilient than older or grown children in divorce
Frequently I hear clients tell me that they are not going to file for divorce until the kids graduate high school, are through college or finals or ….. they believe that their parents’ divorce will be easier because they are older. This is simply not true. In my years of practice, I have found that young children are generally more resilient than older or grown children. If you are considering divorce and your children are older, I encourage you to be aware of your grown children’s emotions, their heartache and their loss. They are not your therapist nor are they a messenger to the other parent. You cannot expect them to take sides and you should encourage them to enjoy the other parent as much as they enjoy you. Listen to their words. Believe what they say. Let them cry. Assure them that the divorce is not their fault. Be kind to them even when they are not kind to you. Tell them they are not responsible for fixing what is broken between their parents. Love them. With all of your broken heart. Just love them. Your children still need you. They need your unconditional love. Your support. Your patience and kindness. Even when you do not even know if you can get out of bed because of your own emotional pain, your grown children (as much or more than your younger children) need every part of you.